Missing Essence of Life

What do we live for?

Do we come to this earth to follow a process, terminate and go back. Like a bun or a bread. Mass produced, packed in local cultures of our originating factories (or countries). There are raw materials which help to produce us. Education, Health, Money etc. Finally we become products and get sold on streets. We have a shelf life, when we are young. When we are working, we are in the warranty period. When we grow old, our market value starts depreciating.
Fuck. I dont want my life to be a product life-cycle. I want to live. Escape.
How do i do that?

Love of Sleep

I love to sleep. I guess thats apparent by my lack of fitness. My professional and personal failures and my stupid looks.  But bottom line is i love to sleep. Nothing can come between us.
I slept through my term exam during my MBA, resulting in a D on my grade sheet. I slept through and missed countless days of work in Pune. Missed client calls when i was in UK.
Fuck dude. I have lost so much due to my sleep.
But i have another life in my sleep. My dreams. Countless pretty women i have made love to. The professional heights i have commanded. The battles i have won. It is a refuge from an ugly world.
Only someone like me appreciates the beauty of an early morning sun rise on the few occasions i do get up early in the morning, its almost like a celebration.
Was wake late last night, waiting for a girl to respond to my chat request. She dint reply. I kept waiting. Damn man why did i? Anyway, thats not going to happen now. Will be more focussed from now on. Its mid day already. Want to make the rest of the day productive. Might hit the gym. Do something.

Or, just sleep.

Its a Pain to See Your Buddies Move On

My office buddy quit. In fact my 4th office buddy quit in last 3 months.
We joined together. We cribbed together.
Things were not meant to be right. We knew we had to move on.
I am waiting. He has moved on.
Give me strength.God please!!

Waiting for Godot

I watched this play sometime back. Stein Auditorium at IHC. Saturday Evening. Full House.
10 minutes into the play, 50% people had left the audi.
At Break, more people left.
I was in a group. A friend suggested, this is overhead transmission, no point staying. I had read the review before landing up there. I said this play is a classic, one of the crucial parts of dramatics curriculum in leading Unis of US and UK. I had to watch it to the end. I am happy to say we were among the 10-15 people who saw the complete play.
Rubbish it was.

My life is beginning to resemble this super flop play. A bad job. Bad health. Even worse personal life. Can i do something about it?
Yes I can.
Like How?
Take a pay cut and move on.
No.
Keep Looking.
Yeah OK.
What about personal life?
Forget it. I never had one. Cant have one either. Difficult to be the single.May be i sd got to Amsterdam to take care of stuff.

Waiting for Everything I never had. Waiting for realising what i have.

Waiting for Godot??!!??